Friday, January 4, 2013

Two Years (part one)

Two years, 24 months, 104 weeks, 730 days. Two years ago we started trying to grow our family.

just a note, this may be long, but this is for me really, so that hopefully, one day I can look back and see how far I have come

It all started Dec 26, 2010. We were putting away Christmas decorations and I felt something. Something I had not felt ever before except when I was pregnant with Abby. I remember looking up at Dave and saying “ I think I am pregnant”, I just felt it. Obviously I was not, but that got the ball rolling. From then we decided that it was time to start trying again, it did take us two years to get pregnant with Abby. We tried that whole year with no fertility treatments until December. My doctor found a cyst growing inside my left ovary and it had tripled in size in three months, bottom line, it had to come out. During that surgery he was able to remove other cysts that were around my ovaries and burned out all the endometriosis he could find. The bright side of this surgery was that he was almost certain we could get pregnant within 3-6months afterwards. Obviously that did not work either.

Around April I went back in to talk about the next step and what our options were. He told me he thought we should start basic fertility treatments, and I of course said no. Here's the thing,I don’t like medicine, like at all. I have weird reactions to it, usually opposite from what everyone else has, so I really didn’t want to start going down that road. I love my doctor and he knows how I feel about all that so he simply said he would recommend me going to a fertility specialist by August if we were not pregnant then. So it was set, Dave and I had agreed that was what we were going to do.

Funny thing happened when August came around…Dave got laid off. Yup, the exact same week I was going to make the phone call too. What did we do? We went ahead and set up the appointment, the consultation is free, so why not?

The consultation went really well, we loved the doctor and he was really optimistic. He made it seem like once we were ready to move forward it would be so simple and I would be pregnant in no time. I will never forget Dave looking around at all the pictures of babies and then saying “ wow, there sure are a lot of twins”.

We were so blessed that Dave found a job right away and they only made us wait thirty days before our insurance kicked in. The same week our insurance kicked in was the same week I needed to start the treatments. Our original plan was to do Clomid, and Ovidrell and nothing else. After a couple of appointments and some sonograms the nurse thought we would have a much better chance of getting pregnant if we did an IUI. This was on a Friday morning and I had to make the decision by noon. The odds were really looking good at this point. At the last sonogram they saw that I had 6 good eggs, so of course I was thinking that there was no way this could not work. Some more info to know, every time I walked into the doctor it was fifty bucks, unless my appointment falls on the weekend and then it was eighty. Of course most of mine were on the weekends, because why not? So I went in on Saturday and had the IUI done. Two weeks later they tell you to take a pregnancy test and come in for blood work if its positive, if not, you start the whole cycle again. One cycle like this cost us over 1100 dollars. Yep, insurance covers nothing!

Round two. During all the visits you don’t actually see the doctor, I am ok with this because the nurses are awesome, super sweet,and most of them have actually dealt with fertility issues themselves. After a sonogram the nurse tells me that they are cutting my Clomid dosage back because, come to find out, they were actually afraid I was going to be the next octomom with me having 6 good eggs. They had started me on the lowest dosage to begin with so now I had to start cutting my pills in half. The next sonogram showed that I had four or five really good eggs and again talked about doing another IUI, but decided against it. Round two…FAIL.

Round three. From the get go, we had decided that we would do this three times and give it a break, so this was it. I had decided that we would do everything this month, so that if it didn’t work at least I knew we had tried everything, no regrets sort of thing. At this point they had put me on half a pill and only for three nights. Normally they have you take it for five nights. When I went in for my sonogram where they see how many eggs I have I pretty much lost it when I got the results. One egg. I lost it, not in a making a scene sort of way, but in silent,heartbreaking, gut wrenching sort of way. I held back the tears while the nurse was talking to me and tried to remain optimistic. Then it came out “ Erin, we actually think you have been getting pregnant, but we think it just isn’t sticking”. Their reasoning…most women on Clomid have issues with their lining getting thinner, I did not have that issue, exact opposite in fact. She told me that we might want to consider a D&C to get rid of some of the lining that may be to thick for actual implantation to take place. Uhhh, no thanks! On December 24 I had another IUI. This time the doctor himself did it. The nurse told me she asked him to come in that morning specifically to talk to me and do the IUI because they knew I was frustrated and discouraged. I asked the doctor if he thought this was a waste of time (and money) since I only had one good egg. He told me he tries to get women to have one, sometimes two eggs, but no more than that. In fact he told me that doing an IUI with anything above three eggs would be reckless. WAIT, WHAT??? So why was I allowed to have an IUI the first go around with 6 good eggs? Still don’t know the answer to that one. Round three…FAIL. So now what? Now we take a break and step away from what has dang near consumed me for the past two years. How long of a break? Don’t know, maybe a few months maybe a year.

All I know is this. God is good. He is in control and I am not. I am beyond blessed with Abby and Dave and actually feel selfish sometimes for wanting more. God is bigger than science and medicine and all things infertility.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

In Remembrance

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

Friday, December 7, 2012

True Story

A few weeks ago we went out for a girls night dinner to celebrate birthdays. We were at a family restaurant, nothing fancy, and we were waiting for our table. I am not kidding when I tell you this. A family walks in (mom dad and daughter, there may have been more but I went into shock) and let me tell you what I saw. This little girl who was around 7 was wearing a special little outfit. Think of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, now down size that junk to a 7 year old. Yep!! Are you in as much shock as I was?? Seriously, these parents let this little girl out in public with her entire belly showing, wearing boots and a skimpy little vest over her bra thing.

This completely blew my mind, and still does. What in the world are these parents thinking?? I know that Dave and I are way more on the conservative side of things, especially compared to people around us, but come on! And to make it worse…there was a whole gaggle of these little girls dressed like that..not kidding, they are a cheerleading team. It blows my mind that there are parents out there allowing and even worse, encouraging their daughters to dress like this.

Last summer we went round and round about putting Abby in dance because of the stuff most studios have their kids wear and what they listen to. Luckily we found a Christian studio and the girls at no point what so ever are allowed to wear anything that shows their belly, not at practice and not in competition. They are also not allowed to listen to anything dirty or dance provocatively, even in competitions. Their motto is let little girls be little girls. I love that and agree with that 110%. It really weirds me out when I see little girls in makeup and hoochy outfits, its just odd.

I also over heard a conversation over the summer in the dressing room. A mom was upset that her daughter did not want a bikini but instead felt more comfortable in boy shorts. The mom was actually mad and said “well all your friends are going to be in bikinis”

My whole point to this is that as parents we are to guard our children's’ hearts. We are what keeps them on the right path and we are the ones who need to teach them right and wrong. Why do we encourage little girls to act and look like grown women? We need to stop pushing our little ones and let them be kids, life is hard enough, let them enjoy this time.

 

toddlers