In Remembrance

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.

"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."
Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

True Story

A few weeks ago we went out for a girls night dinner to celebrate birthdays. We were at a family restaurant, nothing fancy, and we were waiting for our table. I am not kidding when I tell you this. A family walks in (mom dad and daughter, there may have been more but I went into shock) and let me tell you what I saw. This little girl who was around 7 was wearing a special little outfit. Think of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, now down size that junk to a 7 year old. Yep!! Are you in as much shock as I was?? Seriously, these parents let this little girl out in public with her entire belly showing, wearing boots and a skimpy little vest over her bra thing.

This completely blew my mind, and still does. What in the world are these parents thinking?? I know that Dave and I are way more on the conservative side of things, especially compared to people around us, but come on! And to make it worse…there was a whole gaggle of these little girls dressed like that..not kidding, they are a cheerleading team. It blows my mind that there are parents out there allowing and even worse, encouraging their daughters to dress like this.

Last summer we went round and round about putting Abby in dance because of the stuff most studios have their kids wear and what they listen to. Luckily we found a Christian studio and the girls at no point what so ever are allowed to wear anything that shows their belly, not at practice and not in competition. They are also not allowed to listen to anything dirty or dance provocatively, even in competitions. Their motto is let little girls be little girls. I love that and agree with that 110%. It really weirds me out when I see little girls in makeup and hoochy outfits, its just odd.

I also over heard a conversation over the summer in the dressing room. A mom was upset that her daughter did not want a bikini but instead felt more comfortable in boy shorts. The mom was actually mad and said “well all your friends are going to be in bikinis”

My whole point to this is that as parents we are to guard our children's’ hearts. We are what keeps them on the right path and we are the ones who need to teach them right and wrong. Why do we encourage little girls to act and look like grown women? We need to stop pushing our little ones and let them be kids, life is hard enough, let them enjoy this time.

 

Her Butterfly

 

A few weeks ago Abby and I went for a little walk down our street. Before we left the house I gave her a grocery bag so she could put things she found in there and take them home. I am not kidding when I say it took us at least twenty minutes to walk about 6 houses down because she was so careful about selecting the right things to put into her bag. When we finally get to the 6th house (which has security cameras around it…don’t ask) she looks down in the grass and sees this big beautiful butterfly. I knew right away that it was dead, but it looked like it had just landed there so it was still “standing” up.

Abby “ mommy, look at the buteeeful butterfly mommy, look do you see it”

Me “ yes honey its beautiful”

Abby “ mommy can I touch it? is it sleeping”

Me “ well honey, hes actually dead, it just looks like hes sleeping”

Abby “ no, his leg is hurt, that’s why he is resting, he has to fix his leg”

Me “ ok, well lets let him rest and we can keep walking”

Abby “ I will help him mommy, I will fix his leg”

And with that, before I could say anything she emptied out her bag of sticks, rocks, and leaves she had so carefully collected and placed them in a circle around her butterfly.

Seriously beautiful

The Elf That Got Away

 

After Christmas last year I was determined that we would have Elf on the Shelf this year. O yes, I had planned some fun/funny things for this little guy to do. I had spotted out creative places for him to venture to and some trouble he could get into.

Well here we are, three days into December (80 degrees and all), and I never got around to buying that elf. Dave and I were talking about it the other night and I think it was for the best.

Here's the thing(s):

- Abby is smart. Not that your kid is not, but she thinks of things most three year olds don’t, and you know what yall? She out smarts me all the time. I am not a good liar, like at all. I have the worst memory in the world and she has an excellent memory.

- I don’t like to lie to my kid, partly because it’s wrong, but mostly because I am no good at it. Again, I think it goes back to the memory thing, and the fact that I seriously lack in the creativity department.

- Abbys imagination is wild, beyond anything I have ever seen and I have worked with kids for 15 years. If anyone has spent more than 5 seconds with her you have met her kids (brothers and sisters), her friends, and some have been lucky enough to meet Seal and Owl. Yep, I am thinking that adding a little man with pointy ears that wanders the house at night might end badly for all of us.

- Last but not least, I don’t want to add to the exaggeration of Santa. Don’t get me wrong, I love Santa, and I seriously look forward to being able to use him to change behavior in an instant. However, I don’t believe I need to feed the big guys ego by letting his tight tights wearing little helper  creep around our house and cause me more explaining when Abby discovers THE TRUTH about Mr. Beer belly and his red nosed friend. Again, not good at lying and posses no creativity at all.

Here’s one story that has stuck with me for over ten years… I was teaching pre k (fours and young fives) and I was telling them about donating toys at Christmas time because some boys and girls don’t always get toys at Christmas time because their parents can’t afford it. One of the little kids looked at me and said “Ms Erin, why doesn’t santa bring them toys”? I was really caught off guard and I don’t even remember what my response was. All I remember thinking was that we don’t always give kids enough credit and we usually think they are so simple minded, they really aren’t and when we are honest with them they have a chance to show us that.

What never was

 

Growing up you usually dream of how your life will be when you are an adult. For most people it involves college, marriage, and kids. As little girls you dream of your wedding day and then the kids you will raise. Ask most any girl and they can tell you their hopes and dreams for their future.

But what happens when that dream fades and reality starts to sneak it’s way in? Can you mourn something you never had, or that was never yours to begin with?

What happens when you look back at your family growing up and realize that it wasn’t anything like you had remembered. You start to see the pain and hurt and anger that had been there all along. You often hear that children are products of their environment. What happens when you realize that you are the complete opposite of your environment? What happens when you see that you don’t want to be anything like the environment you grew up in? Even more, what happens when you realize that you don’t belong in what was once your home?

What happens when the marriage and kids that you had always imagined does not turn out the way you dreamed? Often times two people fall in love and start off on the same path. Somewhere along the way the path gets rocky and will shake you to your core. What happens when the one dream you share splits and you are left alone on your path? What happens when you the pain is too great to carry and you can’t take it any more? What happens when you realize in one moment that the dreams, hopes, and prayers you had are wasted and tossed aside?

Can you grieve for a family member that is still alive? Can you mourn for a child that was never yours? Can you let go of a dream that will never be?

God gives us the strength we need for each day. He is already there and knows what and who we will need that day. Sometimes, even if it was never yours to begin with, you need to let it go and give it to God.

That Moment When

That moment when you are at the park and you realize there is a mom more crazy and paranoid than you and you secretly do the “I'm a great mom” dance

That moment when you realize you put the blue paint cap on your bottle and are now drinking blue paint water…yum

That moment when the random old man at Wal Mart approaches you in the parking lot (with your child) and ask if you knew that there was a Sears outlet store on the other side of town where I can buy clothes half off. Yup, can’t make that stuff up. I guess I was not meeting the Wal Mart dress code

That moment when your three year old is showing how to do that Pilates move correctly.

That moment when your mother tells you that her and her bible study group decided we need an African fertility god statue in our room. We have hit an official all time low in phone conversations, but I think I know what will be in our stocking

That moment when someone asks you what today is and your response is “cycle day 14, it’s a good night” and realize you have spent way too much time at the RE

That moment when you realize that you would have shown up for work this week if that boss had not sent out that “reminder” email

That moment when you have already put the kids to bed and realize you are still watching Curious George

 

6 years

 

Dave and I have been married six years now! It really is crazy how time flies. I saw a  while ago a quote that went something like this “ You should always look back on your wedding day and think that is the time I loved you the least”, something like that. It really is true and I cannot believe how much God has worked in our marriage to make us as strong as we are now. My brother was over the other night and he said he believed that you should always put your children first in your marriage and then your spouse. I told him I totally disagree. I believe that God comes first, then your spouse and then your kids. I love that I have married my best friend and the man of my dreams (= I do know that if it weren’t for Dave I would not be the wife and mom that I am today. I know how blessed I am to have a husband who prays with me and for me, there are no words that describe what peace that brings me. I pray all the time that Abby will find a man as good and devoted as her daddy…but those are big shoes to fill.

Ice Cream Saved My Life…and other randomness

 

About three weeks ago, after we put Abby to bed, I asked Dave to run to Sonic to get me an ice-cream thing with the candy mixed in. This sadly is something that I usually ask for about three times a week and my sweet husband always gets it for me. So, he came back and I was about half way through mine and no joke, there was a hair in it!!! Not mine hair, no one in my house has blonde hair, someone else's hair! I almost threw up right there.

Last week Abby and I had our first day of school, and it went really good for both of us. To celebrate, we decided to go to Baum's (lessoned learned and not soon forgotten from Sonic) and get a treat. I love the soft serve ice-cream there and so I placed my order and sat down to enjoy. About five bites into it, I hand it over to Dave and ask if it taste funny. Yep, sure enough it had gone sour at some point! So, I am done with ice-cream for a long time, and my belly and my wallet are much better without it!

Not kidding you this is Abby in dance class. The first day of class the teacher said a bazillion times ( I heard because I had to stay in there with her) that they are not to play on the bars. I will give her this, there are kids in her class that are almost 4 and obviously have a lot more self control than my daughter who is not even three yet, but yep, she is like a little monkey in there! Dance is going really good, we were off to a really rough start, both of us cried at some point her first day, but now things are a lot better. I was never a dancer, and I really thought she would not want anything to do with it, but I will let dance her heart out as long as she wants.

Preschool is going really good for both of us. My class is really young, but super cute and for the most part happy to be there. I find it funny that the ones who are crying the most are the boys, kinda odd. Abby loves her class and pretty much tells everyone what to do and how to do it. She is one of the oldest in her class and she knows it. One of the teachers told me she is three going on 25, yep, I know this already!

We went to lake Murray last weekend. It was perfect weather. Abby hated the boat the first day and didn’t want to get off it the second. Go figure. She even kept her life jacket on the whole time with out complaining. We got home Sunday afternoon and that night when I went  to put her in bed there were ants all over her bed!! I totally freaked out (shocker I know), but seriously it was so creepy. It looked like someone had dumped a bucket of ants on her bed. They weren't any where else, just her bed. She used to, key word, sleep with about 13 stuffed animals, she is now allowed two on her bed. We sprayed the heck out of her room and she slept in our room that night. we cleaned like crazy and have not seen a single one again. So bizarre.

Abby's birthday party planning is in full effect…ha right! I think we will get around to that in the next few weeks. I cant believe she is almost three, it really blows my mind. I asked her today to stop growing and she said “no, but you can grow to with me”. Melt my heart!

What can I Say

She is her daddy’s girl

This Year Is lookin Good!

I feel like I consider the start of school as my new year, not sure why, but I do. I am really trying to get Abby pumped about what new things are coming her way, and it’s not looking too good.

Me: “ Abby, aren’t you so excited, you start your new dance class on Monday”!

Abby” No mama, I don’t wike dance and I don’t want to go”.

Me “ Abby, I bet you are so excited to start school again. You are going to be in Mrs. Holly’s class with all your friends. Its for big girls, now that you are a big girl, you get a new teacher and new room”

Abby “ I don’t wike Mrs. Holly and I don’t want a new room. I want to always stay little. I don’t wike getting big.”

This year is off to an AWESOME start!!!

That's Why I Pray

Confession

 

I HATE bugs. Seriously, any and all, with the exception of a lady bug here and there. I am totally and completely aware that it may go to the extreme sometimes…and I am ok with that.

Before Dave and I found out we were pregnant with Abby we always lived in an apartment…on the third floor. I LOVED it! We never had any bugs ever, like ever ever! I guess they are too darn lazy to hike up three flights of stairs, and I am happy with that. I also loved the coziness of apartments. I am not one who goes with the whole “bigger is always better” philosophy, and actually big houses freak me out with the amount of travel Dave has.

So, the other morning Abby and I were in the kitchen and she says “ O no mama, dirt”! Completely not uncommon in my house, but I look down to check it out anyway. Then I find this guy ( or his brother)

 Ugh!!! We get these nasty things a lot and they always ook me out. Well, I thought I lucked out because he was not moving. So, I spray him with the Lysol (this is how I always go into battle ), and he still did not move. SCORE!!! I grabbed a paper towel (or ten) and picked him up, then it went something like this… Me “ ahhhhhhh he's not dead” Abby “ ahhhhhhhhh…….ahhhhhhhh”

Yep, I screamed like a little girl which in turned made my little girl scream like a little girl and we were not handling this situation well…at all. I finally managed to spray it till it was lifeless and get it cleaned up. I am so proud of myself for setting such a good,calm example for my daughter!!! Just for the record, if it’s anything bigger than that guy, I spray it with the Lysol and then simply place a glass over it until Dave gets home. It works out better for all parties involved. No screaming, and the cat and Abby have something new to look at all day…I am just thoughtful that way!

4:23

 

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I love this verse, and  for some reason it has been running through my mind a ton lately. I feel like you could interchange “your” for “their” or “his/her”. I am so blessed to be able to stay at home and literally watch Abby grow before my eyes. I love to see the wonder, the excitement, the frustration, and the awe in her eyes. I feel like as her mom it is my number one job to keep her heart and mind pure as a long as possible. We recently canceled cable and I have not regretted it since. I know that as hard as we try, we will not be able to “keep her in a bubble” as some might say, but I will try. I will try to do what I know is right for my daughter and what the Bible says is right. I will protect her heart and her mind as long as possible, so that when the day comes and she has a choice to either follow the crowd or stand up against them she will do what’s right and not for one second totter on her decision.

I am so thankful for where we live. Collin County is the fifth richest county in America…seriously think about that. We are never in need of anything, we are never without what we need. Along with the good though comes the bad. I feel like on the flip side, as a believer I find myself living like a Collin County Christian sometimes. We go to church, we pray before meals, we give a little here and there…and then? And then we complain that our ac bill is too high, that our luxury SUV needs work, and that our bill at the restaurant was too high. What are we teaching our kids with all of this? Kids are sponges and they soak up EVERYTHING. As parents we need and HAVE to set an example.

Matthew 5:8 “ Blessed are the pure heart, for they will see God”

Along with guarding our hearts and our children’s hearts, we have to remain pure. There is so much junk (for lack of better word) that we are bombarded with on a daily basis that I feel like as a society we have become numb to what is ok to watch, read, and listen to. I still cling to “ If Jesus was standing next to you, would he be happy with what you are doing,watching, reading, etc” .  Last month we went to Norman for a few days. When we were in the hotel we were flipping through channels. I literally caught a 15 second glimpse of a preview for an awful movie. That night I had a really bad dream and I was really shocked because I couldn’t figure out where it came from. It finally hit me later on that day, it was from the preview. If 15 seconds of that can effect me that way, what does a whole movie, book, or song do to our minds.

With the school season quickly upon us, we need to remember that our children are going to be influenced by many people outside the home. You want to be the greatest example in your child’s life, or someone else will be.

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow ~Casting Crowns. “Slow fade”

I Wish I Could, but I Can’t

 

The other day Dave and I realized that Abby knows all the letters in the alphabet and all their sounds. He looked at me like “ hey, great job in teaching her all this”.  Sad to say, but I am pretty certain I had nothing to do with this, however I am very certain all the credit goes to…

Yep, mother of the year here!!! She truly loves this video and I don’t mind letting her watch it a few gazillion times a day.

We use this and the Word Factory at our preschool and I really am a fan of it. It has a catchy song to help the kids remember the sounds of each letter and its only about twenty minutes long. Somehow I just fee less guilty letting her watch this, so I sleep better at night = )

My 2 cents worth

 

I am a sinner,  I know it and I accept it. I can honestly say that I try with my whole heart not to judge others and the the decisions they make in their life.

I will be thirty in October and have set a couple goals for myself. 1. I am wanting to run a 5k in a decent time. 2. I want to be both physically and mentally at my best. I want to eat better, exercise more, be more active with Abby, and I also want to be pushing myself as a Christian.

Awhile back one of the sermons at church was about making decisions that are in honor of God. As Christians we are constantly watched and our actions are not taken lightly. We are called to set ourselves apart from the world and those who conform to what society says is right rather than what God has shown us to be the truth. Our pastor explained that God has already shown us how to make good, Christ like decisions. He said when making big or little choices there are three simple steps to live by.

1. Am I biblically free to do this (i.e. having an affair, not so much. )

2. Will my actions bring myself and OTHERS closer to God

3. Am I honoring God

I have truly tried to live by this ever since I heard that sermon. I have tried to apply it to all aspects of my life…what I watch, read, and listen to.

I also feel like, for me at least, there are two other rules I should try to live by

1. Am I honoring my husband

2. Am I honoring my daughter

So, here is my view, and yes I know its not conforming with most, on the whole Fifty Shades/Magic Mike stuff going on.

I am completely against it, all of it, no questions asked. I do know lots and lots of amazing Christian women who have read/watched these and that’s fine for them. Like I said, I am trying to be mentally healthier and cleaner, so for me I know that reading/watching something like that WILL NOT bring me closer to God. I also know that it WILL NOT bring OTHERS closer to God, and I know that I am in no way HONORING God, my husband or my daughter by reading/watching those. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I would have been all for this. I have watched every episode of Sex and the City (plus both movies), and plenty of other movies I had no business watching. I have listened to plenty of music I would never in a million years let my daughter listen to. But that was then. I love (and try to live by) the saying “ When you know better, you do better”. I will also admit that I still have not so nice music on my ipod that I run to. I am not proud of it, but it does keep me running which is making me healthier. There are no bad words, its just not uplifting in any way. I also try to live my life by thinking “ If Jesus was here, walking with me in my day to day life, would he be smiling or hurt at the choices have made”. I know to many people this may seem lame, and not a big deal. That’s fine, and for them it may be nothing. I just get sad when I see how far we have come from making Christ like decisions. Have you heard the phrase Americanizing Jesus? Sometimes its just easier to go along with what everyone else is doing, saying, reading or watching.

Like I said, I am a sinner and will always be. I also know that God forgives me for my sins and he has already shown me the way to make better, healthier choices in my life.

When Daddy’s in Charge

 

Since the second Dave became a dad I knew Abby was the luckiest little girl in the world. I have literally never seen a dad so proud and beaming with pride. I have never had to worry about her when he's in charge. I think we (as moms) get so used to doing things our way and get so stuck in a routine, we forget that our husbands are perfectly capable of taking over baby duty. I remember when Abby was a baby and Dave would take her out on Saturday mornings. I always thought it was crazy that he could be gone for hours with her and never need or even take a diaper bag. I couldn’t take her to the mailbox and back with out a fully loaded diaper bag on my shoulder.

So, last night I went to dinner with a couple friends and Dave was in charge. Before I left, Abby had a popsicle while she was playing outside. I never have to tell Dave what to do or when to do it when it comes to Abby, plus she can tell him what he needs too.

I came home around 9:30 and a little to my surprise she was still up. In her jammies, but still up. No biggie, I was actually happy I could put her to bed. Here’s how our conversation went

Me: did you have a lot of fun with daddy tonight

Abby: yep, I went swimming with daddy

Me: wow, that’s a lot of fun. what did you have for dinner

Abby: ummmm, nofin.

Me: what? did you have yogurt, or chicken

Abby: nope, not yogurt and chicken. I had nofin for dinner. o, yes I had a popsicle.

Me: you had that when I was still here, what did daddy eat for dinner

Abby: ummm, nofin like me

Me calling to Dave in the living room” hey honey, what did Abby eat for dinner

Dave: o whoops! I totally forgot.

I think it is so funny how as moms we stress about so much stuff when really it DOES NOT matter! I know Abby had a blast with Dave and obviously was not starving.It really made me reevaluate myself and all the “important” things in our day to day life. Sometimes I think we put too much emphasis on what “needs’ to be done rather then just hanging out and enjoying life and the time we have with our children while they are still small and want to be around us. It also made me realize that sometimes I need to learn to let go and let Dave be Dave and not try to turn into me or make him do things my way. As moms we put so much unnecessary stress on us simply because we wont let go . Abby wont remember what she had (or didn’t have) for dinner the other night, but she will remember staying at the pool with her daddy until dark. Isn’t that what childhood is about?

Ah-Mazing

 

God is GREAT!

Last week will not go down in the Wells family book of fun, but it will definitely be one not soon forgotten.

I had been dealing with a pretty nasty case of vertigo, that finally got bad enough for me to go to the doctor on Wed. Yes, I know there is nothing he can do, but sometimes you need to whine, and since we have no co-pay I can whine for free! So he told me what I pretty much already knew and sent in a script for me to help me sleep. Well, first it got sent to the wrong pharmacy and then when they were just about to locate it, the computers crashed! O yep! They sure did friends, and this was after Dave and Abby had gone up there twice. I finally found some medicine I had left over, again, I like to save money, and took some of it because I was really up a creek at that point and knew I would not be able to sleep without some sort of magical intervention. Literally five minutes later the pharmacist calls to tell me everything is ready.  it was 9pm! I had walked out of the doctors office at 5. Lesson learned: when the dr says he will e-send (or something like that) your prescription over, ask for it in paper and wait the extra ten minutes at the pharmacy.

Thursday morning around 9am I get a call from Dave. It went something like this…” I have some bad news, Kohler is shutting down the rental department and come the end of Sept I will be out of a job”.

Yep, did not see that one coming…like at all.To say we were thrown for a loop would be a complete understatement. I felt horrible for Dave and all the people and families affected by this. I am not angry, there is no point to be angry, it would not help this situation at all. But, like I said, God is good and watches over His children. By 11am this (Monday) morning my husband had two, yes 2, interviews lined up!!! Go God! If you have know me longer than a minute you know I despise don’t like change very much. Much to my surprise, and I am sure those around me, I am super excited to see where God is leading us. Yes, I know that we may have to move, and yes, I even know that things could get a lot worse before they get better. None the less, I am still excited for the changes coming for our family.

Saturday morning we awoke to a phone call from Dave’s mom. His Uncle had passed away during the night. He was suffering from cancer and the Lord took him home, took him from the pain he was living with, and he gave him wings. It was definitely a rough end to a rough week, but again, things can always get worse. We are so blessed to have a loving Father who shows mercy and goodness even in the uncertain and unknown.

True Conversation

 

One night after we had put Abby down for bed I could hear her in her room rolling around and being really restless. After about half an hour I went in there to she what she was doing. Here is how our conversation went

Me: Honey, why are you not sleeping

Abby: Well, I need to go to the doctor

Me: Really, why?

Abby: Well my tummy hurts

Me: O, I am so sorry, why does it hurt

Abby: Well there is a baby in there

Me: Ok, well, um, ok…goodnight honey

Me to Dave: congratulations grandpa! I guess we should have had the sex talk around 18 months! goodnight honey

Our Trip

 

We were very lucky to get somewhat of a vacation on Kohler’s dime. Dave had to work a job in Norman for the weekend and so we booked a nice (2 bedroom) hotel room. The room was awesome and just what we needed. I think when you tell them you are traveling with a 2 year old they find the room that is furthest away from everyone…perfect!!! We got there on Thursday and hit the pool right away. We were looking forward to Friday because it was pay day and Dave had worked a gazillion overtime hours (which really helps out our president and his many vacations, but hey, the guys works hard right? ). Well, Friday morning I go to check our account and do some online bill pay, and surprise…no pay check! Yep, we later learn that there was a “glitch” in the computer system and we will later learn that was not really the case. The rest of the weekend went really good, we got to spend a lot of time with Dave’s parents and spend a lot of time just relaxing. Sunday morning we get on the road (early) because Abby was up at the butt crack of dawn early. We were making great time and only had about an hour of driving left. We decided to stop at Braums for a small breakfast and then head on home. When we were done eating, we climbed back in Daves truck ( o yes, we were in his work truck, all three of us, no back seat might I add) and what do you know, it wont start! Keep in mind we are in a small town on Sunday morning, not much open. To make a long story short we decide to suck it up and try to make it home. As a side note, when we were in Braum’s  Abby tried to go potty, but she didn’t like the bathroom so she didn’t want to go. Anyways, we get on the road keeping our fingers crossed that we don’t break down on the side of 35 somewhere. We finally hit our top speed of about fifty when Abby decides she needs to go potty…because why not. Knowing that the truck would not put up with another stop, I tell her to just pee in her pull up and we will be home soon. Well, she was not having any of that! To sum things up, she screamed (truly surprised windows didn’t break at this point) for about 40 minutes straight. She finally fell asleep (and peed) and we made it home, an hour and a half later. When we go to get into the house, the sweet girl who stayed with the animals had locked the door…and we had no key…because she had the key….the key she used to lock the door. So, there we were, finally home, happy(ish), Abby in a pee soaked pull up and now soaked night gown, all standing at the locked door with no key. Dave somehow, I didn’t ask because at that point I didn’t care, knew how to use pliers and opened the door for us.

I am truly so happy we had this time as a family, even after all that, but I know I can only handle one or two “trips” a year!

*and ps, I packed for all three of us in one bag!!! o yes I did!

Before and After

Come this October I will have worked with kids for fifteen years! Yes, I have never had a job not working with kids..ever! With all that experience under my belt I can honestly say that I am still caught off guard many times now that I am a mom. Before I had Abby I worked at (and now still do) a preschool. Before that I was a nanny and before that I worked at a daycare center. I am so greatful that I had all these jobs because I really do feel like they gave me a small glimpse into the world of parenting, especially of things not to do! I will say though that I now find myself laughing at the things I said I would never do as a parent, and some of the things I have actually stuck to. Before Abby: - I will never let my kids sleep in bed with me After Abby: - I do try to limit this, but I actually like when she sleeps with me! She doesnt snore, and during these crazy Texas storms I really feel better with her right next to me. Before Abby: -I will never spank my kids After Abby: -Still a pretty firm believer in this one, however, I have had to spank her three times. Yes, I can count on one hand how many times, and I am ok with that. Every time I have had to has been because she did something that was very unsafe and I really wanted her to know I was serious ( like sneaking out the back door and trying to open the lid to the hot tub) Before Abby: -I will never give my kids fast food After Abby: - This could go either way. I dont think pizza is "fast food", but we could probably cut back on it a bit. I am happy to say that she has never had Mcdonalds, Wendys, or anything of that sort and I hope that she doesnt for a really long time! Before Abby: -I will never let me kids watch TV After Abby: - HA!!! Well, I will say we went almost the whole first year of her life with no TV to watch, so that was not an issue, and even after we got it, she was never really into it until she was almost two. There are days now that I know she watches it way to much, but its not hurting her and I am not using it as a babysitter because I am sitting on the couch right next to her. Before Abby: -I will never let my kids use a public bathroom After Abby: -Ok, if you have known me longer than thirty seconds, you are well aware of my feelings and phobias of public restrooms. I seriously plan my water intake by my outings for the day. So, the thought of having to take a child in there, a child who likes to touch and explore everything just sends chills down my spine. I am ready to whip out the lysol right now just thinking about it. Obviously I have to take her to the restroom when we are out, and obviously I cringe the whole time, but I do let her use public bathrooms and so far have lived through it. Before Abby: - I used to to say I will never(fill in the blank) and I used to judge parents for doing things I believed to be "bad" for children After Abby: -I now see that being a mom is a game of survival and you have to do whats best for you and your child. God gave us our children for a reason, because you are the best mommy for that child and no one else could love your child they way you do. Even on the days where we are sitting on the couch eating pizza and watching the umpteenth episode of george, I know that I am doing a pretty good job at this whole parenting thing.

I'll admit it

So summer is here, and I'll admit that it's probably the most dreaded time of year for all stay at home moms. Well, except for "those" moms and we wont go there. I will admit that I was really looking forward to school being out because Abby and I were working/going to school five days a week the last two weeks of school, and we were beat. But now, looking ahead and knowing that we dont go back to school until after labor day, well thats stressing me out. I'll admit that I am a home body and it wouldnt phase me if I stayed in my house for a week straight...if I had no kids. This little red head mini me however is not so content being at home, crazy I know! I'll also admit that I am not really handling the 530am wake ups very well either. In fact, I am pretty sure that if it werent for my crack phentremine and spark, I would not not make it through the day, or even noon. I will also let you know that I am judging you when you tell me that your kids are sleeping till 9 or later, because now you have become one of "those" moms. On top of it being hotter than the fifth ring of hell here, summer also stinks because thats Daves busy time, which means I have no me time, like ever. I will admit that I do, on occasion, bribe my daughter with a treat so that I can have a little alone time to do things like go to the bathroom...by myself, or shower alone, just little things like that can make my day brighter. I will admit, that on days when Dave is working really late and I am really lazy, we watch George more than we should. I have on occasion felt like I am having a love affair with the man in the yellow hat, but who hasnt? I will also admit that my alcohol intake has probably been increasing,slightly, but I have to stay hydrated when on the treadmill...its hot here, remember? And while living in Texas does have its perks,like riding around on our horses with our guns and cowboy hats, I will admit that I could think of a hundred other places I would like to be right now. O summer, how I wish you would quit comin around!

O The Things She Says...

...and she says them so well. I have always had people tell me what a wonderful vocabulary Abby has and I have been writting a lot of these things down in a journal for her too because some of this sstuff is too cute and I dont want to forget it. It really cracks me up when she gets going on something and I just look at her in amazement because I cant believe this is coming from my 2 year old. Abby and her thoughts on God: I played with God yesterday God was holding me and he was wearing a skirt I played with Jesus and he is my friend and he colored with me God and Jesus were in my room last night and they held me when I was sleeping God made me so cute Thoughts on her family- I only have one daddy like you, mommy you only have one daddy My brother and sister are at the store getting ice cream for me Do I have a brother and a sister My brother and sister are outside iknocking at the door My brother and sister are in the garage because they got in trouble Do you have one daddy too like me Mommy you are not listening, can you go to time out please I live on P***** Dr in ****, Texas Mommys phone number is 9**** *as a side note, no abby does not have any brothers or sisters and no we do not loc kids in the garage when they are bad* Abby on the phone- Hello? Yes, I am home, you want to play with me I am calling Ms (Pam,Amy,Tonya...)they are not home though I cant go to bed, I am making a call and checking my emails Randomness- First we are going to our big pool, then we will go to the little pool and then we will get a popsicle Mommy there is applesauce on the floor (in the grocery store)...daddy will clean it?Mommy you Lucky is our dog.Mommy, you dont like dogs? Mommy, you crack me up There are like two fans in my house I truly love this age and feel like I have my own personal comedian living with me on a daily basis ( with a side of drama). God has blessed us beyond what we desereve with Abby and I will forever be grateful

This is

One of the many reasons I will not use facebook... A Tennessee mother is furious after Facebook banned photos of her son born with a severe birth defect. Grayson James Walker lived just eight hours after he was born on Feb. 15. He had anencephaly, a fatal condition in which a baby is born without parts of the brain and skull. Heather Walker recently posted photos of Grayson without his hat on, igniting an apparent firestorm by doing so. “Not long after, Facebook deleted them because of the content,” she told WMC-TV. “They allow people to post almost nude pictures of themselves, profanity, and so many other things but I‘m not allowed to share a picture of God’s beautiful creation.” To protest Facebook’s actions, Walker and her friends re-posted the photos — earning Walker a 24-hour ban from the site. This story is from theblaze.com

i smile...

simply because thats all i can do. even when nothing else comes together, when nothing else makes sense, and everything else hurts, i smile because God gave me a perfect angel to hold every day...

Field Day

Abby had field day at her school last week and it was so cute to watch and be able to do all the activities with her and her friends. I love working at her preschool because it gives me the much needed adult conversations that every stay at home mom craves, and I still get to see her whenever I want!

If you have never taken three classes of two year olds out for an hour of field day, you really need to put this one on your bucket list!

Sweetness

In six days this little one will be 2 1/2...craziness!!!

Spring!

My sweet friend Pamela took some beautiful pictures of Abby in the bluebonnets. To no surprise, Abby did not want anything to do with it, so Pam had to sneak around her to get these.

Prayers with Abby

For a long time now we have been praying with Abby every night before bed. She usually sings "God our Father" and then Dave or I will say a prayer as well. My prayers with her are pretty routine and go something like this "Dear God, thank you for my mommy and daddy, thank you for my grandmas and grandpas and my great grandmas, thank you for my friends and teachers at school, and thank you for my church. We love you so much, in Jesus' name we pray, Amen".
The last couple of weeks she has been kneeling by her bed and saying her prayers herself. It am pretty sure it's the cuttest thing ever and I looke forward to it every night. Now her prayers go something like this "God our Father thank you for my daddy and my grandpas and my friends and teachers at school and my daddy and my teachers and my teachers. We love you so much in Jesus name Amen". You can clearly see who ranks higher on her list these days!

What we are up to

I love that I am on the ball with this blog! Ha, E for effort I guess.
I will start the updates with Abby...
She is two, need I say more? Something has taken over my sweet baby and turned her into a two year old with a lot of attitude and sassiness. I have already started praying for the man God has lined up to be her husband, but I am not sure all the patience in the world will be enough to live with this one. Dont get me wrong, about every three days out of 14 we have a happy, easy going, loving daughter. I think we get these little breaks to help remind us why we love being parents and are trying for more. I love more than anything being a mom and have always wanted a house full of kids...but I hope God knows that maybe just one girl will do! I think its so funny how we get so excited when our children start talking and then when they hit this age we are thinking why do we give them vocabulary, they only use it against us. Abby is having a blast at school. She would go every day if I let her. I love being able to pop my head in and see her interacting with all her friends and learning so much. I appreciate that she is on perfect behavior for her teachers and saves the fun stuff for me.I love the drive home after school with her because she tells me about all the kids in the class and what they did or did not do that day. One day she told me her teacher looked tired!

Dave is still working hard but luckily has not had to go out of town in a while. His busy season is about to start so that could all change. It is so fun watching him with Abby. The other weekend he was out in the garage so she went to "help" him sweep out the leaves and stuff. Somewhere between sweeping and cleaning the garage she learned how to start the lawn mower...because why not?!? She loves being daddys little helper. She is a lot like him in they way they both love to learn how things works and she loves getting her hands dirty with him. He even took her to a car show a while ago and she loved it. This picture was taken in Oklahoma over Thanksgiving

I have been keeping busy with mom and wife duties and a little bit of work. I love being a stay at home mom, I cant imagine it any other way. Even on our not so good days I still love every moment of it. We have had a rough start to this year. My surgery went really good, but recovery was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Since then, someone in our house has been sick. Seriously, think about that...Since December 30 (surgery date) someone in this house has been stick. Mostly Abby, who has had a cough since Jan 8. We have taken her in three times and its just a cold. I have a stomach bug right now, and Dave has been not feeling well off and on. I am just about ready to bleach the entire house! I have been trying to get Abby to sit on the potty and finally Sunday night she pooped in the potty!!! Hello, thats huge for us. Diapers are annoying me and shes beyond ready. When she gets home from school she runs and sits on the potty and I sit on the floor (anyone who knows me knows thats pure love right there because that kinda ooks me out) and I read her Elmo or Fancy Schmancy (Nancy) books. Those are the only two that will do the trick. I feel like as a mom this is more of an accomplishment for me than her, and our wallet!
We(I) am still trying to get pregnant, although it is a we event. The surgery was supposed to help and we are keeping our fingers crossed and praying about it. Its rough though, not gonna lie. I have five friends who are pregnant right now...thats a lot of babies coming this summer! I have slowly started to accept that Abby may be our only child, I know that we are so blessed to have her. Its just hard when you have always thought you would have a few more,and you should see the way she is around babies. A little obsessed, but so cute. When we are in the store and she sees a baby she says "mama, go get the baby". The hardest part is when I have people tell me "O, it will happen when its meant to", or " you just have to pray about it" (that one really gets to me, because you clearly have no clue what my prayer life is like). I have found that these words of wisdom come from people who have never struggled with infertility and when we are going on this for over a year nothing you can say will make me feel better...especially when you have a bazillion kids. Anyways, I have found a new love to take my mind off of this. My in-laws bought me a new friend

That right there is a girls best friend! I get choked up just looking at it.I have found a new (little expensive) hobby that I would do on a daily basis if time and money allowed for it. I really wish they had childcare available at the gun range, and I know I am not alone. I am pretty good too, which makes it that much more fun. To quote the off duty cop working there " dont make her mad", he said this to Dave when I was up shooting. I really believe that everyone woman should know how to use a gun just in case you need to protect you or your children. Dont mess with this mama bear!!
So thats what has been going on in our house hold these days. Hopefully no more sickness (just in time for allergy season )and looking forward to a fun trip to Great Wolf Lodge!